A Lesson in Parenting

Tonight gave me much perspective on the kind of parent I want to be.

I never realized how OCD I can really feel/act sometimes until I became the parent of a hilariously determined, adorable, and independent one-year-old. Sometimes, when Lucy makes messes or acts like a one-year-old, I feel like singing this:

There are time when I want so desperately to teach Lucy, to help her understand, to encourage developing good habits. Then, I remember she's only one. Tonight was one of those remembering times.

Tonight we gave Lucy cheese and green beans for dinner (dinner of champions, oh yeah). As we are our own dinner (baked carrots and nachos!) Sam broke up pieces of cheese and spooned chunks of green beans onto the table for Lucy to reach. She gobbled and gobbled (especially the cheese), then quickly decided green beans were squishy and fun. As bean by bean became a handful or more of squished beans all over the table and floor, I felt those urges rise up within me. Urges to wipe up the mess, to tell her "no squishing and dropping beans, just eat them, Lulu!", urges to say "if you don't eat right the food goes away", urges to cringe at the green beans she was stuffing under her legs and diaper with glee. But I resisted and watched instead this time. And what I saw was beautiful:

I saw a young child learning about food, feeling and touching and playing. I saw a young father smiling happily at his sweet baby, showing her the most loving example of patience and support. I saw a one-year-old girl being exactly what she is, a curious goofy child with a curious goofy nature. She smiled, she laughed, she talked while she played. And for every five squished or stashed beans somewhere in the kitchen (or on Lucy's person), a couple more were calmly popped in her mouth and eaten. I saw joy in our home, a dinner being somewhat eaten, a child being a child. And you know what? I felt peace—a real, tangible, and memorable peace. No frustration, no upset baby hands slapping my frantic cleaning ones away from her creations, no crying, no annoyance at the mess. Only joy and calm.

The lesson continued. After dinner Lucy and her daddy cheerily proceeded to clean up the green bean mess on the floor together. Sam sang and hummed as he wiped up beans with his paper towel, and Lucy happily  crawled back and forth through the green beans waving her own paper towel. Then, she ripped up her paper towel in tiny pieces, and carefully gave Sam each piece one by one. They had SO MUCH FUN! And I realized the simple small choices Sam made truly made all the difference in how the evening has gone. We've been so happy tonight and Lucy has been such a peaceful girl, and I honestly believe it's because Sam let her be a one-year-old, patiently teaching her, showing her, and letting her help "clean" up. She felt validated, she felt like she was okay, she felt supported and loved. And she got a little needed "smashing" out of her system, hahaha.

I am so grateful for these moments Heavenly Father blesses me with, blesses us all with. I'm so grateful for our precious little daughter, for the joy she is, for the opportunity we have to love and care for her. And I am so grateful for a special eternal companion and love who helps teach me to be a better parent and person each day. Sometimes little things matter. But sometimes things like green beans on the floor really aren't that big of a deal. Sometimes it's better to just smile and laugh and thank Heavenly Father for giving us a beautiful bright one-year-old named Lucy. :)