New binky :)

The Fabulous Five Months! (and other things of late)

Well, it has been two months since I've posted anything on our blog! A lot has happened since then. Lucy was blessed end of March and it was so wonderful (pictures will be posted later)! My parents came up from CA, Val and her family came from Holladay, and Sam's parents and Ben and Katie came from Ogden (and Spencer came from a few blocks away). The blessing was beautiful, such a special neat experience. Lucy was a sweetheart and looked angelic in her blessing dress. Proud mama! After church we all went back to our place and had a delicious dinner and dessert of fondue. MMMMmmm. I think fondue is definitely one of my all-time favorite meals. Scrumptious!

Lucy's been growing so fast and keeps amazing us and making us laugh. She's rolling now! She can roll from her back to her side and to her belly (still gets her arm caught under her, though). She's rolled from her belly to her back a few times but that's it. That one's harder for her to do. She getting better and better each day, though. Sometimes Sam or I will hold out our finger when she's lying on her back. She'll reach up and grab hold, then pull herself over to her side and belly! So cute. She's getting much more coordinated with her hands and is reaching and grabbing lots! She is also snuggling more and mama is LOVING that. It feels so good to snuggle a snuggly baby! She is such a happy girl and a joy in our home. We love her so much!

She and Sam like to dance irish jigs together:

She's easy to get smiles out of, but not always laughs. However, recently Sam has been able to get some of her best little giggles! Heart melt.

Here are some other things from the last couple of months:

*The teething and chewing continues like crazy

She loves to hold hands. She finds our large hands and fingers interesting and holding them is comforting and soothing and helps her fall asleep. (Thanks Kristen for the tip! You're right, it totally works). I love these precious moments.

 Lucy is looking more and more like a little individual and less and less newborn (bittersweet!). It's so exciting to see her change and develop. It also brings an acute awareness that she'll never stay the same. That soon she really will be grown up and no longer this precious angel baby needing everything from us, crying for her binky in the night, smiling and sleeping in my arms after nursing, overwhelming her parents with joy for each laugh and coo. Each day is a reminder to cherish the next and record it in my heart and mind (and blog).

She loves her "Quack Quack." This little blue and green duck is definitely her buddy. They go most places together.

 We had another follow-up appointment with Dave, the guy who works in Orthotics who created Lucy's helmet. He took measurements of her head and did the math, comparing it with her original and with normal numbers for her age group and said she's making awesome progress! She's close to a normal range and will have another appointment in a few weeks. Then he'll be able to estimate how much longer she'll need her helmet. Wahoo! Go Lucy!

We have been loving the fabulous weather lately, and taking walks is such a joy. Warmth, sunshine, blue skies, gorgeous mountains, and a happy girl who loves being outside and looking around.

Lucy is often begging like a puppy for our food now. Tomorrow we're giving her her first taste of solid food! Rice cereal!!! If she does great with that for a week or two it's green light for pureed veggies, fruits, sweet potatoes, and more. Hooray! I'm excited to make a lot of Lucy's baby food by steaming the food, pureeing it in its water in the blender, and pouring it in ice cube trays to freeze in little portions. My friend gave me the idea and I thought  it was genius. So easy and healthy!

Tummy time and neck therapy are getting better and better! YAY! Lucy is such a tough girl. We are so proud of her.

I cut Sam's hair extra short for the summer. He was very kind and patient (as always) and convinced me to try using the shaver with the longest attachment. Well... I took off the attachment to clean up the edges and doggone it forgot to put it back on to even out the back?! LUCKILY (thank heavens!) I didn't do too much damage before realizing and grabbing that attachment. GULP. I was able to somewhat fix it and after Sam washed his hair it wasn't really that noticeable anymore. Gotta love these learning experiences! HAHA! I am very much still figuring out how in tarnation to cut a guy's hair. But I'm getting a little better I think!

Other things:

1. I will never buy single-ply toilet paper again. I thought "Oh, it's way cheaper!" But you have to use half a roll to do anything with it! Lesson learned. Find a good deal, but cheapest isn't ALWAYS the best choice.

2. I am really enjoying my internship! Articles galore. I'm writing a couple a week (sometimes more sometimes less) and they're being published on Familius.com. It's a fabulous publishing company that publishes articles and books all about the family. It's felt so good to get back to writing more (other than school papers). I'm looking forward to improving my writing and hopefully getting more published. I'd love to publish a book or two someday.

3. I am going through a Pinterest craze. And I'm loving it! We've found so many wonderful recipes we love. The other day I made a beautiful pumpkin cheesecake that was DELISH. Yummy! It was my first time using a springform pan and was so pleasantly surprised it worked perfectly! Didn't even crack on the top at all!

4. I am also going through a cheesecake craze. After making the pumpkin cheesecake I decided I want to get really good at making cheesecakes (as it is my very favorite dessert in the world) and I want to experiment and try cool new cheesecakes. I must specify: the baked and chilled dense cheesecakes. They are by far the best in my opinion. None of the whipped pudding "cheesecake" stuff. :) Next on the list: chocolate rhubarb cheesecake. Can't wait!!! I'll let y'all know how it goes...

5. I'm happy to have reached my pre-pregnancy weight after having Lucy. However, I've realized the numbers don't really mean everything. Size and health are two very different things. Plus, muscle weighs more than fat and I've pretty much lost all dancing muscle, haha. I'm not in shape AT ALL! I get so winded just walking to campus still. So, without regard to numbers, I've decided I want to get IN SHAPE! Yoga with Sam and Spencer has been a great way to ease in to it, but now that the weather is nice I'm really excited to start running more. I used to love running. When I was in high school (after Ash and Val kicked my butt into better shape) I'd love to go out with my ipod and run outside up and down the hill when I was restless, upset, bored, excited. It felt so good. I realize I'll have to get back over the hump for runner's high to feel that good again but I'm ready to get there. I liked enjoying exercise. I want to like it again. :) Commitment recorded! Now I have to do it!

6. Sam and my favorite new snacks:

TWISTOS (especially the bruschetta flavor)

Veggie Straws (honey mustard flavor)

... good eats.

Thoughts on unexpected life and some hard but beautiful experiences

Lucy is gradually making progress. :) We have a lot to keep track of these days to help Lucy grow and develop. Because she stubbornly favors one side of her head no matter what we try to do, she's developed quite the flat spot. We've been trying to help her for weeks, to turn her head again and again, to switch her positions, but our sweet girl has been stubborn about keeping her head BACK to the left on the same side and sliding around how we try to prop her head up. So, we are working with her on more tummy time and physical therapy for her neck to improve her range of motion. A helmet is potentially what will be needed to help her head round back out by the time she's 1 and prevent further lopsiding. We'll see how her head/neck is doing in one more month, and at the next pediatrician visit we'll decide yes or no on the helmet. I was hoping we wouldn't need a helmet, but I realize what's best for my baby in the long term (for a few short months) is more important than a fashion statement or the pride of being able to do everything perfect or make everything perfect ourselves. Sometimes we don't have complete control. We do our best, and that is enough. When it's not enough to achieve the results we want to see, we do what we NEED to do. It's a lesson I'm learning more and more each day. And Heavenly Father has been guiding me in these lessons I'm learning. With nursing, I've been so intent on "It has to work! I have to make it work the way it's supposed to!" But as a lactation specialist once told me, if something isn't working, stop trying to force it to work. Choose another method, minimize the stress on you and the baby and everyone. I'd been struggling with discouragement and severe inadequacy. But the Lord has been trying to help me realize through the last several weeks that my entire value and purpose as a mother does not completely ride upon how Lucy receives her milk (nursing or bottle), or even if she receives my milk or formula the whole time (which is only a matter of months). Motherhood is so much more than that. The most important thing is that she is fed and properly nourished, and that our family is growing and thriving and happy. And while Lucy's nursing struggles (and mouth surgery/therapy) or her head/neck issues are not the ideal or what I imagined we'd have to deal with, they've also been a blessing in disguise. They've taught the value of patience, of diligence, of research and work. They've helped me see just how closely the Lord watches and guides our progress and answers our prayers. I'm learning to look for His hand in the small moments, because He's constantly there. While I may complain or worry sometimes (a lot of time, haha), I'm also grateful that we've been going through some hard things with Lucy because of the learning and growth we are all attaining. In a blessing our baby received, she was told these trying experiences were trials that were prepared for her and that she would be able to overcome. That thought brought a lot of comfort to me. And strength as her mother that I could do my best to help her overcome and grow. As well, I feel that much more prepared for our next baby and what to look for and how we can better help him/her earlier on. :) Wow what a crazy but joyous adventure parenthood is. There are so many things we never think about. But what a blessing life doesn't turn out as planned. We become so much more when our lives are in the hands of the Lord.

Random tidbits of late

Lucy is almost 11 weeks old! At two and a half months, she is only bringing more and more joy into our life. She's sitting in the front pack sleeping against me as I type while we listen to "baa baa black sheep" on pandora, hehe. It has been one of those mornings where I want to do something, but also really just want to hold her close. Random note: she's getting heavier, whew! she's over 12lbs now. I know, it's not much once you have toddlers and older kids... but still. For us it's a milestone!

Random tidbits:

*Sam sprained his ankle a couple weeks ago while we were playing speedminton in the park. :( We drove straight to the health center and he came out with a brace and crutches! Luckily it healed quickly (YAY!). He's now walking around just fine! Thank goodness for technology and chiropractics. And I am also grateful for all the nice people on campus who encouraged him and offered him help while he was hobbling around from class to class. People are good.

*Lucy got sick for the first time. Fever, frequent blowouts, weird appetite, and lots of sleeping. All three of us got a yucky stomach virus of some sort. But we're all well and healthy again thankfully!

*We went to the park a couple days ago to eat lunch on a blanket. I took Lucy out of the carseat and was feeding her a bottle when a little 4-year-old girl named Daisy spotted Lucy and marched right over and asked "what your baby's name?" We said, "Lucy" and Daisy replied, "Hi Lucy!" A new friendship bloomed. Then her little dog ran over and peed on Lucy's carseat. ...... It was one of those "did that just happen??" moments to which we all just decided to laugh. Daisy's father came hurrying over and apologized, shooing the dog away and ushering his daughter to another location to fly kites. It was so funny, it made Sam and me smile. :) Good thing we had antibacterial wipes in the car.

*Lucy smiles and smiles! And COOS. Her little communication is so hilarious and precious. She also is very good at sticking out her lower lip and does a hilarious frowny face with her eyebrows. She's in 3 month clothes and size 2 diapers now! Goodness gracious they grow like weeds! It is so fun.

My Best Friend

Meet Sam Browning. He's my best friend. Words cannot even begin to describe how grateful I am to be able to share my whole life, eternity, everything with this man. He completes me! He literally wipes away my tears when I'm sad, laughs at my ridiculous corny jokes, rushes to my side when I need help, nourishes my spirit and reminds me of who I am when I feel lost or confused, fills my life with joy and adventure and fun, and is always waiting with arms open for a huge hug and kiss a gajillion times a day! Holding his hand never gets old. Neither does watching him change Lucy's diapers and sing to her. It has been so wonderful to see his and Lucy's relationship grow. Lucy absolutely LOVES her daddy. Last night she was crying very hard for a little while with some gas bubbles she couldn't get out. Poor girl was miserable. So Sam held her close and walked and rocked and soothed her. Then he decided to lie down on the couch with her and do infant tummy massage while singing "I Am A Child of God" to her over and over. Within a couple minutes she was quiet and still, and a couple minutes after that she was sleeping peacefully. Sometimes daddies are just magic. :)

Sam is always so thoughtful and loving, as a husband, father, and friend. As we've embarked on the daily journey of being parents and learning what Lucy needs, Sam is always there for me, knowing exactly what I need. When I need a break, when I need to snuggle our baby (we've been doing physical therapy for her neck/head because she favors one side and her head is a bit lopsided... the first time doing therapy was traumatic. Lucy and I were both bawling. Sam did the therapy because I couldn't bring myself to do the first one after seeing the pediatrician do it to her. It's just a series of stretches for her neck, but she hates it because it's uncomfortable and she feels forced, so she screams and cries and whimpers. After Sam finished therapy he asked if I wanted to hold her and patiently watched as I nodded and swooped her up from him and clutched her close to me trying to soothe us both. Now we both take turns with therapy and cuddling her after). He also knows when I just need to get out of the house and go for a drive! We've had some fun adventures together including driving out to Riverwoods shops to explore for an hour or so. Boy am I grateful to be able to share now and forever with Sam Browning. Words cannot adequately express how deeply I love and appreciate him.

Lucy the 7-Week Wonder!

Lucy Elizabeth Browning is 7 weeks old tomorrow. In just a week and a half or so she'll officially be 2 months. Where is the time going??? That last stage of pregnancy seemed like forever, and now that she's here it's like time is zooming by double speed. She is such a joy! Sam and I are constantly laughing at all the funny new noises and faces she makes each day. She is so alert now! Sometimes I can't help but wonder what on earth she is thinking... Often she'll just stare at me or Sam, wide-eyed and intent. It's like she's trying to communicate something with us. I am looking forward to when we'll be able to better understand her. I've been trying to give her cue words with certain patterns in daily life.  For instance, when she's crying for food and I go get her to feed her, I repeat "Milk" a few times for her to hear. I don't know if or when she'll catch on and understand any of them, but I like to think someday she will and will then be able to give positive or negative cues back.

Lucy's sleeping has overall been getting better and better. If we can get her evening schedule to work well and keep her up at the right times, she'll sleep 4 hours or more straight sometimes! Last night she got up before 2am to eat, then went back to sleep till 7am! It was heaven. 5 hours of sleep uninterrupted. YES! Keep it up, baby girl! Other nights, she'll wake up every three hours or so, but she goes back to sleep for a few hours at a time rather quickly, and her feedings have gradually become slightly shorter (she's a bit of a slow poke and will want to eat for an hour sometimes!). Yay! 

Other fun things she can do:

* She coos and makes the sweetest sounds

*She loves bathtime now! I learned she just needs the water slightly warmer. In my fear to have the water too hot for her sensitive skin, I was bathing her in barely lukewarm water and she'd cry and cry. After a few baths I decided to try a littler warmer, and that did the trick! She's calm and happy as a clam most of the time now. I love bathing her, drying her, brushing her fuzzy hair, putting on a fresh diaper with powder, lotioning her smooth baby skin and massaging her leggies, putting her in a new outfit, and snuggling that clean baby close. Mmmm.

*She's just started chewing/sucking on her own hand. It's so cute! Wondering if this might be the early beginnings of self-soothing?

*Last but certainly not least.... SHE'S SMILING!!!

Sam is SUCH a sweet daddy! Lucy absolutely loves him. I can feel it. She stares and stares at him, loves his singing, and gives him adorable smiles. I love these special moments. :)

We are amazed more and more each day at this little miracle named Lucy. It is so wonderful to have a daughter. Caring for a baby is hard sometimes, and there are times we feel quite tired or confused at what to do next, but it is also SO FUN!!! And loving this precious child is the most beautiful incredible experience. I am so grateful we have her in our family and are sealed to her forever. As I ponder my journey of becoming a mother, I am in awe at the power of Heavenly Father and at the beauty and joy of His creations. Additionally, I cannot help but be filled to bursting with gratitude for the constant love and guidance the Lord has given us. There truly is a eternal plan for each of us in life, and the sanctity of marriage and families is without doubt true and ordained of God. Home really can be a heaven on earth! So grateful for our little piece of heaven. :)

Lucy's Birth

Our baby is here! In fact, she's already a month old, believe it or not! It's so incredible how fast time flies. I figure it's probably high time I posted her birth story finally, eh? Stay tuned for my one month thoughts post coming in the near future :)

Thursday night, January 9th: My contractions started to be uncomfortable. They weren't just the "Braxton Hicks" tightening but also had cramps accompanying them, sort of like menstrual cramps but milder than the ones I usually experienced in high school. I thought "Hmmm maybe it's finally getting closer, since I'm due already!" Sam and I went to bed and that night the cramps got stronger and woke me up every couple hours. I kept going back to sleep though, and thought "not yet."

Friday morning, Jan. 10th: Sam and I got up for the day and I told Sam what I'd been experiencing during the night. As he got ready for school we went over our various plans for if the baby were to come that day and he assured me he'd keep his phone with him and turned on. We decided to let my mom know that status. I called her before Sam left and told her about the change in my contractions (which were continuing to happen every now and then) and about other labor symptoms I'd been having that morning, and she said she felt like things were starting to happen and she'd come out. She called me a couple hours later to say she was leaving on the next flight to Salt Lake City that afternoon! Wahoo! Not long after, I got a text from my dear friend Dana asking how I was doing. I mentioned I thought I was going into labor or was in very close pre-labor and she asked if I wanted company which I whole-heartedly accepted!

Afternoon: Dana came over and we ate chocolate and bread and watched "I Love Lucy" (SO fitting! I just love Dana!). It was so great to spend time with her and chat and read sections of her book on pregnancy and birth. Sidenote: we are SO excited for their baby boy to come in just a few weeks!!! ... So the contractions started building, then tapered off while Dana was there. Then, around 2:30 they started up again... tightening and cramping, nothing extreme but I definitely felt them. From 2:30 to about 4:30pm they were coming every half hour. Dana left and Sam came home from school. From 4:30pm on they began to get closer and closer together. Every ten minutes, seven minutes, then every five minutes. By this point, some of them were strong enough I had to stop what I was doing and breathe through them. One caught me off guard while I was doing dishes before mom came and I had to hold onto the counter for support.

Evening: Mom walked in the door between 6 and 6:30pm with Zupas food for dinner! Oh it was so good to see that woman. It's hard to live states away from most of my dear family. The three of us had a great time catching up and talking about birth preparations as we ate Zupas, meanwhile I was timing each contraction which were now coming at 3 minutes apart. As I relaxed and focused through another one while writing down the time, mom looked at me with a slightly alarmed expression and asked, "Another one?? How far apart are they now?" I replied, "About every three minutes for the last while." "Ooh! We MIGHT want to go to the hospital!" she said. We all agreed. I started to feel an urgency to go, but I couldn't leave without asking Sam for a blessing. It was just the blessing I needed, full of peace and comfort and advice. I was flooded with the love of my husband, of my Heavenly Father, and my nerves mixed with a huge heap of excitement and anticipation swelled within. We grabbed everything and jumped in the car (or waddled to the car and crashed in, more like, for me haha). Mom followed in her rental car and we went to Orem Community Hospital.

They checked me and I was dilated to a 4. We waited in the hospital room for an hour to see if things were still progressing. I talked with Sam and mom. Sam recorded some of our conversation and thoughts at that moment. I hoped and prayed we'd be admitted! The nurse seemed fairly certain we would be at this point, especially since I was overdue. Sure enough, an hour later I was at a 5.5! They called the midwife Dena to come break my water and walked me to my official room I'd be laboring and recovering in. It was large and beautiful and fairly comfortable for a hospital room. It even had a pull-out bed for Sam and a "nourishment room" for mom and Sam to grab food and drinks!

Dena came and broke my water once I was at a 6 and things really sped up. Contractions were much stronger and the pain and cramping was definitely more intense, but I could breathe through them one at a time just fine... then I got to an 8... Things got super intense very quickly and transition hit. Let me take a moment to pause from the birth story... I watched Bill Cosby's "Natural Childbirth" comedy act last week, and he quotes Carol Burnett in trying to describe what childbirth pain feels like. She said, "Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head!" Haha. Well, by the time I was at the climax of labor, pulling my bottom lip over my head would have sounded pleasantly comfortable. With each contraction and pain I told myself, "One more. I can get through just one more. One at a time." Sam was comforting and coaching me the whole time, telling me how great I was doing. Mom rubbed my leg and Dena got some essential oils for me to smell (lavender, and such). The nurse in there was awesome too, and so helpful. Time passed and I figured, "Well, it's close now! Once most women hit 8 cm, they transition to a 10 and have the baby relatively quickly, so here we go!" However, that was not the case with me. My body suddenly became stuck at a point where it wanted to start pushing but couldn't for hours. It was the most physically, mentally, emotionally exhausting night of my life. After one particularly strong contraction I slumped back and closed my eyes, spent. Apparently that was the wrong thing to do... I scared the poor nurse who thought I'd passed out! She exclaimed, "Natalie?!" and grabbed my arm, to which I opened my eyes and looked at her and startled her again, haha. She apologized for the scare and childbirth proceeded.

There was one scary moment after a contraction when Lucy flailed inside me and went still and they lost her heartbeat. The nurse had left at that point, so Dena hurriedly moved the monitor around trying to find Lucy's heartbeat again while telling Sam what to do and calling the nurses back in. I had to be rolled over to my side and they placed the oxygen mask on my face (upside down in the chaos of the moment haha). It was scary and I was concerned for my baby, but the whole time I felt this peace in the background assuring me things would be okay and that Lucy was okay. I couldn't allow myself to be scared, I had a job to do and I needed to relax and help my baby how I could. Praying silently over and over, I tried to focus on relaxing. They put an internal monitor on Lucy's head and found her heart rate, which had dropped significantly, but was soon back up and everything was alright. I asked if Lucy was okay and the nurse and Dena said she was just fine and relief flooded through me. She was alright.

FAST TRACK ahead. So hours pass and my body was having trouble progressing. "This baby should have been born hours ago..." kept coming from the midwife's mouth, which did not help the nerves of my poor mother. I was at a 9.5 for two or three hours, was told to start pushing, then stop, then start, then stop, and finally I simply couldn't do it anymore. I was spent! So I asked for an epidural, and it was a blessing I did because it was after the epidural that my body was finally able to relax and finish progressing. After an hour and a half of pushing Lucy Elizabeth was born at 3:17am January 11th, which is also the birthday of my mama and my sister in law Kristen! She was a healthy 8lbs 2 oz and 21 inches long.

Baby bliss!

Sam's very first diaper change!!!

Lucy, meet Grammy!

Rockin' mullet!!!

Coming home with our Lucy was wonderful. A little nerve wracking, yes (we're in charge of this tiny human 24/7! whoa!), but the joy of being a family and the reality of life sinking in was amazing. We are so filled with love for Lucy and are so grateful for this precious girl! She is such a joy and we feel immensely blessed to have her as our daughter. :)